12.6.12

A little while ago I posted ".I had a conversation with someone today and this person decided to talk to me in a manner that I felt uncomfortable.  The conversation turned into a venting session on how some people do not like change and then continued to talk to me about this person's boss whom I would say I have a connection.  I did not stop this person from speaking, but I did not join in, I simply allowed the conversation.... "  

I need to figure out what to do, as it is starting to affect how I do things and I am beginning to not want to be around the person who said this and when I see the person in which it was said about,  i want to say something.  It is not a good feeling, I do not want it to continue to be on my brain.  I am beginning to not want this relationship and if I dissolve it (like I normally do), My children and I will suffer.  

I really need guidance and as much as I am looking for it, I am not seeing how God wants me to handle this.  

Create in me a clean heart O God: 

    and renew a right spirit within me. 

Do not cast me away from your presence: 
    do not take your holy spirit from me. 

Give me the joy of your help again: 
    and strengthen me with a willing spirit. 

Then will I teach transgressors your ways: 
    and sinners will turn to you again. 
- Psalm 51:10-13

Forgiveness- The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. As a person of Faith I believe that we are all sinners and are still loved.  I believe that we ask for forgiveness and  our transgressions are forgiven.  So why don't I easily forgive? 

Many months ago a very wise woman told me that you do not need the other person in your life in order to forgive them, unless you want to save the relationship.  

Tonight when I was worried about a friend, I left the table.  Mackenzie decided to finger paint with mustard on the white wall in the kitchen.  I was not calm, I yelled, and I asked the stupidest question I know... "why did you put mustard on the wall?"  To which I heard " Mommy, I did NOT do that!"  I understand this is the age for lying... .I wish  I was back on the retreat (okay minus all the silence).... 

I was reminded tonight by that same VERY wise person that "mustard isn't very forgiving, but hopefully you'll be!"... I heard it and I did tell Mackenzie that I want her to know that I forgive her.....  To think about tomorrow and what forgiveness means "December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan".-FDR

It is all of this that makes me want to be even more thankful to our Heavenly Father for I understand His Greatness is more than any of us fully understand.  May tomorrow as we awaken in the morning light we take time to reflect on the history, and be even more thankful to those with whom we have lost in the name of freedom.  Thank you to all those serving and their families with whom I have the deepest respect and admiration, May God Bless and Protect you all.  

Amen