Evening 5/31/12

A new look for the summer... usually am a bangs girl, but all about accepting change... As I take one out of the shower and put the other one in.. .I think about not just today, not just this week, but this entire month... So many changes! So many tests! I am here and I am not backing down.  I am so grateful and I am so appreciative of all the friends and family whom have helped to support me.. You are all wonderful and I am so blessed.  I am looking toward my future:  the sun is shining and the clouds are away, it is bright and full of potential.  As I begin to explore and find my place, I also embrace the idea of wanting to know where I came from.  After all Life is not just the destination, but the journey along the way... tomorrow is Field Day Friday...  our last as an Old Mill Family...  No time for sadness, just acceptance... and gratitude, I have almost made it past one of the times I feared the most.  Have a Terrific night and as you sit in the traffic tomorrow, remember to Thank God It's  FABULOUS FRIDAY....

Morning 5/31/12

As this day begins, I hear the birds and see the sun. It is another glorious day. I am so thankful to have so much, including this sinus issue. Without it, I would not be reminded that I have minor problems in the scheme of problems. Yes, its all relative to each of us, I just choose to realize, there are people who have it a lot worse in so many aspects of their lives, pull up your boot straps and jump back on, the ride isnt over yet!!! More curves and bends are in our future, hold on tight! Have a wonderful thankful Thursday!

Evening 5/30/12

The mom I knew.  not the mom others have shown me.. As I sit here and am thankful for what memories I have, it was really difficult to hear someone else tell me what my mom did for me.  It was the first tears in a very long time about my mom.  I am so grateful for that knowledge.  Thanks EBCD It was cathartic and I wish everyone who has suffered a loss, has a moment like this. I so appreciate the talks with people about their moms.. a full day of it.. but especially with LM and PM... Although different stories both are equally relevant This morning I spoke about what you might regret not saying to someone if today was their last day... I want no regrets.. I want to tell everyone I love and appreciate each and everyone of you.  Someone said this tonight: "We cannot measure a life through years... Only two things are certain life and death... "Someone who may only be with us for a few hours can leave a longer impression than someone who lived a 100 years... MAKE each minute count...  Tomorrow Thank God it's Thankful Thursday.

Morning 5/30/12

Thank God Its Wondrous Wednesday! I am so blessed that this day has come. Yesterday was filled with more growth and i am thankful for the women who I spoke to yesterday. As I attend another Motherless Daughter's book club later, I reflect once again how lucky I am. Although I lost my mother, I gained so many loving people. As you start today think about those who are in your life, if that person wasn't here tomorrow would you regret not saying something today? Find the time today, say it and make today a wondrous Wednesday, I know I am!

Evening 5/29/12

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to talk about things and our moms today.  It is helpful to put things into perspective and to be given that peace of mind .  It's amazing how I feel afterwards, I really do now understand what people have said about my blog.  I understand  that when people finish reading they feel a sense of happiness and inspired... I get it.  As I end out today and prepare for tomorrow, I plan to say and extra thank you for bringing this person into my life.  This really was a terrific Tuesday and I cannot wait to start out my Wednesday at HT.  Have a wonderful night and remember to say thank you to that person you talk to.  Let's figure out how to say Thank God It's Wondrous Wednesday...

Morning 5/29/12

As I wake up this morning, I am grateful for having the opportunity to see and speak. To be given the opportunity to have time and a venue in which to find peace. As the wearher gets hotter, take this time to remember those who need extra attention, the elderly and homeless.  Those returning to work after time off, remember TGITerrific Tuesday! How will you make it, terrific?

Evening 5/28/12

I am grateful I have such wonderful friends... In the moments like today, it's good to have someone there to tell you how to respond... because sometimes you just do not know how!!!!
No matter what is going on in my life, I know you are there and will always help me through it... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was nice to spend time with friends today,beach, BBQ, Ice Cream... what a better way to say Happy 11th Birthday...  Thank you all...
I had to explain to my children why we need to stop and thank those who are fighting for us.  After a conversation my now 11yr old came to me with this:
What we're grateful for:
Freedom
Rights
Living
Wearing clothes
Eating real food
Having toys
Having a house
Having education
Remember tomorrow is Thank God It's Terrific Tuesday.... have a great night!

Morning 5/28/12

Happy Memorial Day! Please stop and thank all those who serve and their families for their sacrifice to provide us with freedom. 
Happy 11th Birthday to my sweet little boy!  May this year be filled with many wonderful things as you leave elementary school and begin middle school. 
As the day begins, I am grateful to have the opportunity to spend the day with my children and reflect that there are many who cannot say the same.. Have a Magnificent Monday....

Evening 5/27/12

As evening finally settles in..I think back to how my day began... listening to the silence in the mountains.... I was up around 4 this morning and waited till almost 5 before I left the camp ground.. It's now 8:30 and the children are in bed... I have the sliding door open and I am listening to the wind blow in between cars.... so peaceful!!!  
Jordan enjoyed the movie and special time with his dad, while Mackenzie and i enjoyed our time in church, after we had a quick lunch and a nap this afternoon!!!!!! Then the three of us went to the bowling alley for a pre-birthday bowling and chicken and french fries night.... 
I acknowledge that I have many things to be thankful for and two of which are laying in their beds quietly right now.  Tomorrow Jordan will be 11 and it's hard to believe, but at the same time it's not.  He is an amazing young man and has such a sweet and kind heart.  Wishing you all a wonderful night.. May your dreams come true and the love you give, be felt by those around you.  As we wake up in the morning, remember to give thanks, not just for Monday but for those who have given us the Freedom.....

Morning 5/27/12

Arrived back home safe and sound and will prepare for the day ahead.  While driving alone on many of the roads, I enjoyed seeing the sun trying to rise.  Many spots I came through rain, but as I exited the parkway and entered onto 138... I saw this lovely part of the clouds trying to allow the sun to break through.. No rain here right now..!
I am grateful for the opportunity to go and relax this weekend.. thank you to my family and their friends for welcoming me.. I will soon be back to reality of life and all the responsibilities that go with... but for now, I will begin to prepare for spiritual love and peace at HT and thank God its Spiritual Sunday... Have a Wonderful Day!!!!

Evening 5/26/12

Although we had stormy weather, i am grateful for the fun and love we all had today! Seimming, kyaking, and fishing... Nature all around! The kids are playing by the fire and the adults are all relaxing! Everyone happy and safe! Early departure for me, loving the peace tonight!! Have a wonderful evening!

Morning 5/26/12

There Is something so amazing to wake up in nature before everyone else and only hear the sounds of those who live here daily. The birds are singing the crickets chirping and other insects are speaking their language! Thank God Its Saturday! The sun is rising and it will be a super Saturday, as you go about your day today, stop and marvel at the nature around you. It really is amazing, so many different things to be grateful for! Have a safe and super Saturday!

Evening 5/25/12

Sitting by the fire and being grateful for family and friends! Its a lovely evening and everyone artived safe and sound! Looking at thr fire makes me enjoy the peace even more! Have a wonderful noght!

Morning 5/25/12

As I awake to another misty morning and think about the things to do today.  I am pleased I have so much to do, it reminds me that there are many who cannot get up and do things.
As I said last night, I am a very patriotic person. I believe with all my heart that we should stand up and salute our flag and those who have sacrificed and given their own lives so that we can enjoy our freedom.  It is such a simple thing to say thank you, and every service person I say it to, smile and thank me for doing so. 
There are another group of people though we should also keep in mind, yesterday SB spoke about getting her students involved in the community and visiting the elderly at nursing homes and how many do not have people to go and see them. They are the forgotten friends and family.  Another friend, GMPK recently expressed how her children love to go and entertain and talk with the people she counsels.  Perhaps as we begin to make our summer plans we too should take a page out of their books and set aside some of that "beach" time to go and visit with those who could teach our children a great deal more than any electronic device. 
So as you set out for work, or the beginning of this long weekend... I wish you peace and safe travels! Be kind, be patient, and try not to be too annoyed with the Bennies, remember Thank God It's Friday... make it a Fabulous Friday!!!

Evening 5/24/12

I started out today reminding myself to be thankful! Although I am not feeling well, I enjoyed the afternoon with a dear friend, it was helpful to hear another perspective on religion and personal growth.  Thank you SB, I heard you and will cherish the conversation.
Tonight I listened to some really talented kids play some lovely music and as I sat, I thought about how wonderful it is that our children have the freedom to play instruments and sing in schools.  As we plan our weekend and BBQ, I ask each of us to stop and express their gratitude for those who have stood up for each of us and provided us with freedom to do as we please.  I am so grateful to those and their families left behind.  I fly my flag proudly and would never want that freedom taken away.
Wishing you a wonderful night and that tomorrow as so many will say TGIF, is the beginning of a safe weekend.

Morning 5/24/12

Good morning, thankful Thursday has arrived. I am thankful for not just the gift of life, but for this time of personal growth. To look at oneself and do the work that is needed is sometimes difficult. Take the time, it is worth it, because you are worth it! Having someone there who cares enough to tell you how it is is also a wonderful goft. If you do not have someone in your life who is willing to do that, time to reevaluate friends as well! Thank God Its Thursday! Have a wonderful, thankful day!

Evening 5/23/12

 To sit in a room with many women of different ages and have at least one other person in the room have a similar story is priceless.  It was not easy, but I faced the fear and made it through.  Gratitude is an amazing thing. I am so grateful PM kept this book club.  There are definitely women who are going to benefit from hearing others' stories.  To see professionals coming in to hear our stories in order to help others is inspiring.  It's not about us, there are many other people who need assistance, this is our way of contributing to helping others.  We all have a purpose, do you know what your purpose is? I know this was a wonderful Wednesday.  I plan on waking up and saying, TGITT-Thankful Thursday.... Have a wonderful night.

Morning 5/23/12

I knew I would need a little extra help today.  Last night I decided I would attend 7 am service at HT.  This would be possible thanks to CU for keeping Mackenzie! Jordan and I did what needed to be done and had him dropped off just before and I arrived just a few minutes after. 
Wed service is so intimate and informal.  it was a nice feeling and helped to center myself and prepare for that in which I fear. I feel the strength and the guidance and wish that for everyone.
Tonight I will face a fear head on, for months I have been asking for someone to go with me, nobody is able to.  I must stand on my own two feet and walk through the door head on.  I know logically I will be fine, it's the unknown that scares us.  I choose to go through the fear and know that I have the courage and strength to do this.  When I look in the mirror today I will remind myself that I am capable of doing many things, standing up being one of them.  When you look in the mirror today, what will you tell yourself? Remember you are the only one who can control how your day unfolds......
The rain is gone, the birds are singing, feel the love through the warmth of the sun. It is a glorious day, indeed, let's make it a Wonderful Wednesday!!!!

Evening 5/22/12

Surviving as a chaperon for 5 preteen boys on the class trip to the wax museum in NYC....  Yes, I am grateful!!!!!!! I am most def. grateful the sun came out and allowed for the children to run around Bryant park.  It turned out to be a wonderful afternoon, we have a lot to be thankful for.  In the upcoming weeks, it will be even more important for me to remain optimistic... I am determined to see the positive and good... so if your not stay out of my way!!!! Have a blessed evening!!!

Morning 5/22/12

As I wake up the children for the day's events I look out the window and am grateful I can see out the window.  I can hear the birds, I can touch my children, I can (barely because of the cold) smell the fresh air, and I can taste the yucky medicine..... I have a lot to be thankful for.  I am thankful I am learning, as difficult as it is, I am learning.  Perhaps one day, it will make more sense to me, but until then.. .I will continue to ask for clarification and listen (because I can) to the answer...Today is Tuesday and I am thankful for that.  Thank God its Tuesday..... if you are reading this, I am thankful.... how about you? How do you plan on this Tuesday, to be Thankful?

Evening 5/21/12

As I settle back in on the couch .. I think of how grown up my son is.  In a week he will be 11... It seems like only yesterday he was in kindergarten.. in about a month he will be leaving his elementary school and becoming a student at the intermediate school.  HOW scary is that...? The 5th grade picked all the songs they song tonight which included many from the Beatles and had an American Theme.. I loved it.. I was blessed to hold my baby and a friend's 20 month old through half the performance.  It kept Mackenzie occupied, but made it impossible to record while Jordan played the percussion... he did great and the singing portion went well also. 
Although it started out rainy today, it seemed to let up and the sun tried to peak through today... I am hopeful tomorrow will be beautiful for the 5th grade trip to NYC...  not exactly sure who picked the wax meuseum for this group... but we shall see.  much like this cold, I am hoping it will be ok tomorrow :)
There is a lot of personal growth going on right now, seeing things in difficult light makes it a little less pleasant but neccesary all the same.  I am grateful to the person who doesn't have a problem saying it how it is to me.. even when I don't want to hear it, I know I need to!!! Thank You.  As I sign off, I remember something Mackenzie said to me yesterday, "how do you draw that thing we do in church, Peace?" The innocence is wonderful, isn't it... Peace to all and to all a great night..

Morning 5/21/12

Thank God It's Monday! The sun has risen, although it is raining. Please stop and be grateful that this weekend was lovely weather! And we need the rain for many reasons... Although i am sick, I am grateful that I can feel sick, I am alive and will feel better! Others have been told otherwise. Make today a marvelous Monday!!

Evening 5/20/12

As I sit here after such a beautiful day, I wonder how our little friends did at their piano recital... We were disappointed we could not get there in time.  My day started out with spiritual love and internal peace at HT... Listening to a wonderful sermon and the most beautiful voice over all others.... Learning more and more about the Lutherans and feeling the love from above.  
To explain how much my children are fitting in.. here is what happened during service today... While going for Communion, Mackenzie walks behind me and usually Pastor Mary blesses her forehead.  Well Pastor Arnie was there instead, he leaned down to do it and Mackenzie flinched back and said NO, not in the quiet voice either.. there were chuckles all around.  She then walked past and saw Pastor Mary on the other side and started saying , I WANT PASTOR MARY TO DO IT!!!!!  I got her back to the Pew with my hand over her mouth and then she persisted to cry in my lap while the lovely couple behind us, laughed as they were standing behind during the entire event.. After service I had Mackenzie say sorry to Pastor Arnie, as she walked up he leaned down and said you know I don't bite... she said I'm sorry in her tiniest voice he said that's OK.. she smiled and hid behind me as we went into the coffee hour.  As we were ready to leave coffee hour she saw Pastor Mary and ran over to give her a big hug goodbye and then I said what about Pastor Arnie, she then gave him a hug too.  We are so blessed! My children are understanding the love that surrounds us there. 
The children then had play dates and they were really, really good!!!! it's probably the best afternoon I have seen with these four kids... It would have been better if we didn't find homework at 4pm... a project much less and oh yeah that test I have to read the chapter for... we were so sorry to miss going to see our friends play piano.. next time :) Our thoughts were on them tonight.... So my final thought of gratitude for tonight... the love of a sense of belonging.. especially now, has meant so much to me thank you all... Tomorrow I plan on waking up and saying Thank God It's Monday....

Morning 5/20/12

It is another beautiful day. Stop to look on your way to have fun. I cannot wait to go rejoice and receive spiritual love @ HT! After asking for assistance, I received a beautiful prayer last night, thank you PM! After the prayer, I received the news the papers were signed and mailed, thank you ML! This is my life and I am taking it back... I am blessed and thankful. Whether you believe in a higher being or not, you can say thank you to someone for giving you this life. I know I am. Have a wonderful Spiritual Sunday!

Evening 5/19/12

To overcome scary moments in life.. we have to walk straight into them.  Today I walked into a party with those I called family for 14 years... it was extremely difficult especially with how I feel this week.   None of them know, nor do I want them to.. it was plain weird.  Someone kept saying how weird it was to not be here with a bunch of kids running around... that only made me think more of what would be happening either next weekend or in July... My children's lives have been turned upside down and I am grateful how well they are adjusting.. I appreciate the help and support they are receirivng.  I love and adore everyone who has really embraced us to show us we are not alone over the last few months and especially this week.  I am working on turning myself around and getting back to being 100% positive.. until then I post and reread my posts enough times during the day to make it though.. .  If not the news that Mrs. Mallard, the lovely duck who came to visit my friend's for years... whom I saw yesterday was not here today with her mate.. He was destraught and sad... This should be a reminder to enjoy everyday as you never know when it will be your last....

Perhaps the second greatest gift I received today came in the form of news, my children are allowed to join the Lutheran Church with me.  I am so overwhelmed and happy that they will become members and "grow up" with the sense of community, love and most importantly how to be a good person.  I really am blessed.  Thank you, Saturday for providing so much today.  I look forward to waking up tomorrow morning.

Morning 5/19/12

It is a super Saturday! The weather is so lovely. I want to wish KG and LK and all other riders in the MS ride good Luck, you can do it!! As I wait for the sounds of my children to emerge for the day, I stop to say thank you for everything I have. I know I am blessed! Remember to take time out to appreciate nature and those around you today. Be extra kind to an unhappy/miserable person. Most importantly, have a super Saturday!

Evening 5/18/12

Wonderful acts of kindness.  Asking a friend to stay for dinner, Listening to a friend, Riding 50 miles for a good cause.... Any of these are humbling.  Some more painful than others but to each possibly the same good feelings emerge.  Doing something for others, volunteer, public service, or our brave men and women who fight every day to provide us with the freedoms some choose to destroy.... these are all great ways to do something good.  Every time I see a person in a military uniform, I thank them for providing me with freedom.  When I see a volunteer, I thank them for giving of their precious time and assisting someone in need.  So tonight I want to thank all of those who are doing walk-a-thons, bike rides, or any other charitable event to help others.  There are many people who are affected daily by disease or other events that these events either try to bring awareness or funds to... THANK YOU.. and may you feel the gratitude (may help you make it all those miles) of all those who you do it for....  I am grateful for my friends and grateful I was kept busy today.... It kept my mind from thinking and allowed me to take care of myself... little things like that I have taken for granted...  What are you thankful for tonight?

Morning 5/18/12

The sun and warmth are a nice embrace. Having a reason to be productive is priceless... Thank you to the P Crew for needing me today!! Friends really are the greatest gift from above. Have a fabulous Friday!!

Evening 5/17/12

 Denial- according to wikipedia:  "..(also called abnegation) is a defense mechanism postulated by Sigmund Freud, in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite what may be overwhelming evidence.^"I choose not to live in denial about the current situations I am living. Instead I choose to live in the moment.  This morning I said I do not feel courageous, but the opposite of fear is courage.  I do not want to live in fear, instead I guess I choose courage! I am taking back my life! Still being cautious, but not a basket case... Life will be different, that is for certain.  There is no going back to how things were, only how they will be for now on.  I know I have many people on my side.  Let me fall if I need to, just put out your hand to help me up! :) Life is good, I have my children and we are together... can't ask for anything more... REALLY I can't.. I am so grateful!!! Thank you!

Morning 5/17/12

So weird to wake up and not really hear any sounds outside.  I had to stop and really listen to even hear the cars passing by.  Listen even more and I can hear some birds, are they already making it a Tremendous Thursday? People say all the time if they could go back, they would do something differently.  Yes, I wish I made better choices, but really we don't learn lessons from being perfect.  And the truth of the matter is, who is to say the other choices would not have led to the same point? Nobody is perfect, we just need to figure out how to do the best we can and know when to ask for help.  I have asked for help in making the correct choices, I have to make the choices but having someone else explain them helps to identify possible outcomes.  Friends say it's courageous, I do not believe so.  It is a matter of feeling safe.

Evening 5/16/12

How did your Wednesday turn out? Did you make it a wonderful one? "As soon as you trust yourself,  you will know how to live." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe... This is actually how I started my day.. I received this in an email from a great friend thanks LS.  If I could begin to trust myself and the choices I need to make, it would make my life's choices a little easier to deal with. 
I really am grateful for the love and support of my friends and want them to know how wonderful they all are... if your reading this.. YOU are wonderful... Thank You!!!!! I am so blessed and know it.  tomorrow will be a tremendous Thursday.... no matter what!!!

missed the morning 5/16/12

This morning was a little more difficult, appointment with Jordan's school and then somehow the car took me to Cranford.  My subconscious did the driving and knew right where I needed to be.  I arrived just in time (not knowing when KG had lunch) and just need to feel safe, OAS has always been a safe place.  People talk about what you want in life and how to get it.  Nobody really imagines when things are going on how little things like safety become an issue.  I am sure this feeling will pass, mainly because I won't allow it to take me down.  Although friends will be lost, there are many more who are not leaving.  These friends I am grateful for, I know some are worried, it will work out!!! I promise to take care of myself first so that I am able to take care of the kids.  Sitting here in silence once again, I am tired and my eyes want to shut, but the topic of prayer is on my brain, perhaps from the book club or perhaps just in my spiritual learning.  It amazes me how people can do it without ever really stopping to think and others like me have such a difficult time.  It was great to read in the book, and hear other members say they too have a difficult time with traditional prayer.  I said it before this is a form of prayer for me, I am thankful for the people who are in my life, good and bad as I understand there is a right reason for them to be there and once I learn the lesson, I will be better for it.  The sun is out and I choose to feel the warmth of love from those around.  TGIW.... Have a Wonderful Wednesday.

Evening 5/15/12

As I sit here waiting for laundry to be done.  I think about silence and although am grateful for the sound of fighting to be over, I do not like silence.  Keeping into perspective, I do not like the sound of chldren fighting either. lol
Instead I would much prefer to hear PM, an amazing woman.  She speaks so eloquently and gracefully, that it all makes sense and real in my heart, even prayer.  Wisdom and strength.. these are things I prayed for and I found them through another wonderful woman.  GMPK, No matter what I know you have the strength I need when I feel I do not have it and the wisdom to know exactly what to do.  I'm not forgetting those friends MS, KG, LM, LS, PV, AMC, JV and BM... I am grateful and blessed for the love and support and feel honored to have such wonderful friends.

Morning 5/15/12

On this slightly rainy morning, I see the color all around.  It is amazing how a drizzle is nothing like a rain... It is refreshing and not dreary.  I choose to look at the world around me in a way that provides me hope.  Hope that things will settle with those I love and become more clear with those I do not.  It's difficult to be a parent and not know what to do, it's even more stressful when other things are going on.  The balls are in the air, I am trying to touch only one at a time, will I be able to keep them up in the air, or will they come crashing down around me? I choose to believe I will keep them up and I understand I am the one who will determine that.  This will be a terrific Tuesday... REALLY, let's make it one... who's in?

Evening 5/14/12

When life is throwing a lot of balls at you at once, do you duck and hide or try to catch them and learn to juggle? I have never been one for juggling... REALLY can't grasb the hand eye coordination required... but right now all these balls.. I will try to juggle, because I will not hide.  After not eating more than a half of muffin this morning, I ate chinese thanks to a really sweet friend, LM THANK YOU... after I read my fortune cookie "Prosperity is a way of living and thinking and not just having money or things".  Yes, even with what is going on I am thinking that I am grateful for what I have and really am blessed.  Here's hoping the apt tomorrow goes well and that things will become more clear.... The truth of the matter is,  we are relatively healthy and we are all alive... that is what is important.. not any of the garbage that is being thrown at me... I am grateful to have my life and feel for my friends who dealing with loss.... HUGS..

Fresh Start 5/14/12

Good Morning! Thank God It's Monday!!!!! It's going to be a glorious day, the sun is shining and the birds are chirping.  No matter what the afternoon will bring, embrace the warmth of the sun now.  Today is a fresh start, a new beginning.. Many new changes over the last few months and even more to come... Take each moment whether scared or not and make it something great.  Have a little more patience for those you normally don't and most of all, tell me how you will make it a magnificent Monday??

Evening of 5/13/12

Reflection on the day.... To be honest, it was a really rough weekend, and isn't it ironic, that I spoke last night about being a single mom for mother's day.  Who would have thought, I would be tested to the point of wishing there was another adult in the house this evening? Yes, I admit it... as much as I love and want to be with my children, today was one of those days that I know I was being tested.  I followed through and did not enable any inappropriate behavior and for that I am so grateful.  I still believe my children are the greatest blessing I have and then the love of my family and friends. 
The greatest gift a friend could receive is another friend stepping in where someone wasn't for my children.  It was a true gift for my children to feel like they had given me more than their card, they were so happy and they understood my tears of joy.  For the record , I must state, I always trusted this person... Just didn't think she would go to these lengths to ensure my children wouldn't be upset, for that I thank you once again.... To receive their gift, cards and then the gift and card from your children was overwhelming... It wasn't enough I was trying to get one with God (or however PM says it) it was just the overwhelming feeling of love that brought tears to my eyes.  Tears of Joy and gratitude to have such a dear friend.  We should all be so lucky! I am blessed and I know it. 
To receive a hand written apology from my child tells me he is sincere in his apology.  I know these moments of testing will probably become more frequent as we reach the teenage years, but my wish and dream is that as we encounter these moments we will learn a little more to minimize the pain of the next one. 
Tomorrow will be a brand new start!!!!!  A brand new position, a new location, and a few old faces... it will be great!!! Can't wait to utter those Letters, TGIM.... Sweet dreams to all and to all a good rest of the night.

Morning 5/13/12

What better way to wake up on Mother's day, than to hear your child's breathing/snoring? It is the perfect reminder to appreciate those near and dear.  I have heard this week, that Mother's Day is a day for mom to rest, away from her children.  I disagree, I really believe Mother's Day is a day that both mother and children should rest together.  We have many demands put on us during the week, and for many even more on the weekends with sports and activities. In the past people took one day off to spend with their family and to be one spiritually.  Although others joke today is just another holiday made up and capitalized by the card/flower companies, I would like to think of today as a day of family rest.  Breaking from the demands and stress of day to day living, the children and I will take turns doing activities each of us enjoy, showing each of us how much we love and care by doing it with them.

To my friends who are mothers already, take a little extra time today to hug and kiss your children, remember that they are the reason people are celebrating you today.  For those who are celebrating their first Mother's Day as a mom, begin to make traditions with your little one(s) as you are the key holder for this door.  Those who little one(s) will enter into the world after today, celebrate today as you are already caring and loving the little bundle in your tummy.  A special note to those who have tried and have not been able to become a mother, my love and hugs go out to you especially, may all of us who are take an extra minute to provide you with some added comfort today.  Lastly, whether your mom is sitting next to you, on the phone, or above, make sure you take the time to thank her for providing you with the greatest gift of all.....your life.  Without if this world would not be so great. How will you leave your mark for a super Sunday?

Evening of 5/12/12

On this the eve of my first Mother's Day as  a single mom, I reflect on the term unconditional love.  People say the minute you hold your child for the first time you understand the overwhelming sense of unconditional love.  This was true the first time I held Jordan.  I worried during my second pregnancy as many mother's do how will I be able to split my love equally? The first time I held Mackenzie, it seemed I had nothing to worry about.  Perhaps because I had a partner... a wise friend always says "never get out numbered by your kids"...I am now out numbered, but still my love for each of them somehow each receive 100%. It really is amazing the practice of unconditional love.  Really the love I have for these children goes way above any love I have ever felt for another person on this planet... including myself.    The real question is do we hold unconditional love for ourselves? Most of us do not.  We beat ourselves up over things that are not worthy of such abuse.  If each of us takes a minute tonight to look, really look in the mirror and tell the person looking back they love them and will put them as top priority, then everyone else falls into the appropriate place.  Does not mean you love anyone less, means you love them more!!! I cannot wait to awake in the morning and take my children to church and then spend the afternoon doing fun things they would enjoy doing, after all Mother's day mean more when the children can have fun and thus so can you.  Have a spiritual Saturday night.

Saturday 5/12/12

Good Morning! Saturday has arrived! Only a few short hours of sleep before the birds woke me up with their chirps of love! As i lay here with the sounds of two girls breathing in their sleep, i think of how magniciant my friend and his wife are. There are days being a parent is so difficult, and these two people are proving that there is a way to make it through with dignity and grace. The lesson to learn this Saturday before Mother's day, stop and take inventory of the wonderful things. Nobody said ignore the bad, but keep moving forward with dignity and grace. And when you see a parent struggling, offer a smile and a kind word instead of stare and judgemental phrase. As a human, we all have bad moments, its what makes us learn! Have a special Saturday!

Friday Evening 5/11/12

As I prepare for company I haven't seen since HS.... I sit and think about today's events.... What started out as a normal work day turned into another transitional day. I knew when I said yes, it was not what I would be doing long term. Although it was a temporary position, it was position I called home while my life was being turned upside down, it was one of the constants. Having it, and hav...ing a positve coworker and friend in RC, helped to make some really tough days seem manageable. To have someone there on a daily basis who whole-heartily felt compassion and a desire to do well made it all the more possible to walk away today knowing he will excel in the program and make it even better than it was. You are exactly what this department and company need and so is your new assistant... Your intuition is much like mine.. and look I brought you in off of mine... You will both kick some rear!!!!!
I am grateful for the opportunity offered by my company and although have fears, promise to do the best I can to continue to make the STW program, a success!!!! So like I started out the day, I shall finish it... TGIF... I am so grateful this day is here... and can't wait for what TGIS will bring....

Friday Morning 5/11/12

Good morning Friday is here....TGIF, uttered by so many. Wonder what people would say if people started to say TGIM, T, W, And Th?? Tonight my son graduates the DARE program which provides me with two thoughts. HOPE, that he will not get mixed up in substance abuse. GRATEFUL, I never touched a drug or tobacco, an although have enjoyed alcohol, I have not fallen into trouble.
May those of us who can say the same, stop and be thankful and supportive (not enable) those who do in our lives. Most importantly, work on having a Fabulous Friday!

May 1-May 10

5/10/12
As I lay my children down to sleep, I stop and think how much I did today. I am so blessed to have a job and to be able to do extra for that job. I am grateful I am able to do all that I do and grateful for those who I encounted today... Good and bad, I learned something from each of them. How many can say the same thing?
Good Morning, Thursday is here. The sounds of rain have been replaced by the sound of cars and trucks. This provides hope that more people have obtained employment. I am grateful to hear these sounds. No matter what stop, think and be grateful about the senses you have, someone else has awaken without. Have a thankful Thursday!
5/9/12
Good evening, it’s amazing how one spends a lot of time running from things just to find out it has been a part of their life the entire time.  It comes across in many different forms.  Nothing is done by chance.  Look at the experience and figure out the lesson. 
Good morning, Wednesday! We have approached hump day, how will you make it a wonderful Wednesday? I have looked past the grey sky and can see color, a magnificent array of happiness can be found in any shades of color! Although today is hump day, it is a very busy day, taking it slow to enjoy it all, after all, life is the journey not just the destination! Have a wonderful Wednesday!!!
5/8/12
Good morning, Tuesday! Look through the grey and see the sun has risen. Its a glorious day, be grateful! Put a little more effort into being who you are, not what others want you to be. Have a wonderful day!
5/7/12
Good morning, Monday! I am so grateful to have fallen asleep, if only for a few hours! No matter what the weather brings, a new day is here!! Embrace it! What will you do today? If the sun is hiding, what will you see when you look up? If someone says something not so kind, how will you respond? The key word is You!!!! Its all up to you!! You have the power to make it a magnificent Monday, will you? I sure hope so! I know I will. :-)
5/6/12
EVENING: As I lay myself down, I reflect on the events of the weekend.. it's so hard to believe how long it had been... it felt like it was just yesterday when I was last with the Coleman Crew.(in this instant it was yesterday). it's amazing how the positive people you chose to have in your life... never really leave it.. even if years are between you... chosen family will always remain... Tell someone you care about how much they mean to you..... Have a wonderful night and wishing everyone a PEACEFUL week... ♥
MORNING: Good Morning, Sunday! The birds are chirping and the kids are still asleep... Its a lovely day! So grateful my sister welcomed us and hung with the kids during the day, so I could catch up with a wonderful family. I am glad I made the trip!!!!!
This is the first Sunday I am not at Holy Trinity Since Feb... I will miss hearing the choir and hearing a terrific sermon... But most of all the over whelming feeling of love and warmth I feel when I am there... I felt it yesterday with momma and the gang... Love to all the Coleman crew, safe travels back home...
5/5/12
14 yrs ago. Wow who would have imagined what would be the end result... Two awesome kids. Thank you cinco de mayo, forever you will remain a positive memory for I have two little people who I adore.
5/4/12
Lovely rainy day to be outaide..
5/3/12
I am grateful the fever I had last night in bed seems to be gone... At work and it seems there is stomach bug going around my room.. NOT fun... but today is a fresh new day and it will be good... look at someone you know and tell them something kind that you notice about them.... Have a wonderful day :)
5/2/12
Good morning, Wednesday!!! Long day ahead, but will be worth it in the end.... So blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life, thank you and have a wonderful day :-)
5/1/12
Good morning, Tuesday is here!!! Mackenzie's toys are finding a place to call home and Jordan is still enjoying the fort he can make with all the full boxes in his room... Perhaps tonight they will be opened!! Lol have a wonderful day, everyone!!!!

The Beginning....

Hello and  thank you for coming to see my new blog.  I am so excited and scared all at the same time..  So many people thought how crazy I was when I began thinking positively.  Some even asked if I started to take drugs.  I simply learned that (the hard way from my dear friend) I have a lot to be grateful for and that perhaps I should stop feeling sorry for myself and start appreciating who and what I have in my life... for this I am eternally grateful... GMPK... You have always been and will always remain the person I TRUST the most. 
In this journey, I also learned that though there are things that I feel have been difficult to deal with, they have provided a valuable lesson and therefore are worth looking at again... and perhaps sharing for those to perhaps learn from as well.  No matter what this page is a NEGATIVE FREE zone... As another person near and dear has noted, my daily words of wisdom are a form of prayer and represent my attitude of gratitude and for that... I thank You PM... (Perhaps I will be able to show her how to get on here to read this).  So what I decided to do is to make the next post the previous posts I posted on Facebook that created such a stir and had people asking me to begin a blog.... Hope you enjoy... if not, it's ok... I don't have to please everyone...