Evening 5/19/12

To overcome scary moments in life.. we have to walk straight into them.  Today I walked into a party with those I called family for 14 years... it was extremely difficult especially with how I feel this week.   None of them know, nor do I want them to.. it was plain weird.  Someone kept saying how weird it was to not be here with a bunch of kids running around... that only made me think more of what would be happening either next weekend or in July... My children's lives have been turned upside down and I am grateful how well they are adjusting.. I appreciate the help and support they are receirivng.  I love and adore everyone who has really embraced us to show us we are not alone over the last few months and especially this week.  I am working on turning myself around and getting back to being 100% positive.. until then I post and reread my posts enough times during the day to make it though.. .  If not the news that Mrs. Mallard, the lovely duck who came to visit my friend's for years... whom I saw yesterday was not here today with her mate.. He was destraught and sad... This should be a reminder to enjoy everyday as you never know when it will be your last....

Perhaps the second greatest gift I received today came in the form of news, my children are allowed to join the Lutheran Church with me.  I am so overwhelmed and happy that they will become members and "grow up" with the sense of community, love and most importantly how to be a good person.  I really am blessed.  Thank you, Saturday for providing so much today.  I look forward to waking up tomorrow morning.