Last night, a friend told me she would be coming to Church with me on Wednesday and I started to cry. It was the sweetest thing. I did tell her that I know things are out of her control and if she could not it would be alright... when she said it to me again today, more tears came to my eyes. I am so grateful. This will be the first year I will "not be with someone" in many years and it's weird to think it's been 25 years since we were called into the living room and told.
Many emotions are running through my head. The dreams started and although I thought I was crazy to still have them, a friend told me she still has them and it has been longer.. I am grateful for knowing I am not alone in that, however, I do wish I could find what I need to not experience them anymore. Back in February, I started this journey wanting to learn more about my mom and to deal with her death once and for all. I had some distractions over the last few months... However, I am going to set a goal to spend this next year getting to know my mom and other family members I do not really know.
I am certain that I do not wish my life to be any different, especially since I have found my way to God's path. I know that without the loss of my mother, my life would have been very different and I would not have acquired so many wonderful people to whom I am grateful to call my friends and family.
The mom I knew. This was May of 86 (yeah I know imagine that my mouth open!!) She died Oct. of 87
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