6/11/13

Hard to believe that two months  ago I decided I could not write my blag until I could feel free to say some things.  The last two months have been the most amazing and the most challenging all at the same time.  In my lowest of lows today, I finally took the step toward doing something for me... then tonight someone said perhaps it's time you get all that negative out of you and get back to remembering all the positives.....
I decided awhile ago that I was going to be happy and live for who I am. Not what I thought I should be.   I am in love.. this person has spent many months getting to know me for who I am and caring for me anyway.  This person has accepted the bad that comes along with the good and helps to smack it into my head that there is good that I have spent so many years denying and ignoring.  This person has taken many risks and proven that I am "WANTED."  On days like today when it's even more difficult to be around me.... this person says, "I am not going anywhere, and neither are you!" It is because of this person that tonight I feel I can write this and say, I do not care who knows.. I am in love.... with a wonderful person... thank you Kellie.   I have found I can be happy and though some do not agree or feel it's wrong or against "their" religion... It is who I am, and I am proud of who I am.  If I can show my children that it does not matter who your in love with as long as you treat that person well and that person treats you well...... than I guess I am not messing up as badly as I thought.
Dear Heavenly Father,
As I allowed this darkness in my body, I left the trust and faith for the plan you have behind. I ask that you forgive me for straying and not placing my fears, doubts, and sadness into Your hands.  I ask that you continue to guide me down this path and that "the dawn from on high will break upon us" as we awaken to a wondrous Wednesday.  Please keep Emmy and all those protecting us safe and out of harms way.
Amen