This weekend has been difficult. To say I have been emotional is an understatement. Today I woke up feeling a lot of mixed emotions. I am excited for my gf. Even tho our plans changed completely, I am grateful I got to spend time with her this weekend. It was bitter sweet going to church today. I was happy to be serving, sad she wasn't with me, and nervous about the Baptism. I may not have been on the mark or even said everything right... but when I read the Scripture, I not only read it, I felt it.. . I ENJOYED reading it. I would even venture into saying I love it. I am proud of myself for not giving up... there have been times that I had to push myself even more to get up and read.... and I am grateful to always have an encouraging word and hug from Pastor Mary at the end.
I was thinking after service today about how this could be related to some other things going on in my head.... Yes, there are plenty of things I would prefer to run away from. There are fears that I am afraid are going to get me.... I just need to keep telling myself.. there are things I want in life both for me and for my kids and therefore giving in... is not an option.
I will work even harder to not let the emotions, fears, or stress weigh me down and take control. I will embrace the new situation and take it for what it's worth.... a new beginning for all those involved... May this weekend come to a wonderful close and may the next week provide a world of opportunities for everyone.... Monday morning coming near... make it magnificent...
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